I alluded to an interesting evening I had on Saturday night in yesterday's post...Since it was very entertaining I'd like to take a moment and hit on some of the wonderful highlights.
The evening began in Woodstock, Ga where there was an oldies concert going on. A co-worker, which we'll call Sasquatch, invited a bunch of us from work to her daughter's (which we'll call the daughter little Sasquatch) grand opening gala at her salon. Well my wife & I had that wonderful wedding during the day, so we figured, 'hey we'll just go see Sasquatch & lil sasquatch and wish them well with the new endeavor and then go grab some dessert somewhere or something.' Well we arrived at lil Sasquatch's salon at about 8:00 after driving around the Woodstock for about 45 mins trying to find a place to park. I immediately knew I was in for some real entertainment when we were offered mimosa's, wine, beer, etc...(note: any other group of people & the mimosa's, wine, beer, etc. would not even be mentioned)
as we walked in the door. Sasquatch had been drinking a bit and wanted to introduce us to lil Sasquatch. WOW - lil Sasquatch had REALLY been drinking. Now, I've had my share of drunken experiences, but poor lil Sasquatch was fleece blankets to the wind. So my wife & I had a few drinks (I didn't realize how many beers I really had until they were all gone), and things were going pretty normal until we met Sasquatch's son...talk about entertainment. I really believe that Sasquatch's family is on the top ten most dysfunctional families in the US.
Sasquatch's son, which we will playfully name TooMuchWeed, was a very fun character. He is a wee under age, but that was ok - he was ONLY drinking beer. I'm not sure but I could swear he had some other influences in his system. So I hung out with TooMuchWeed for a while & laughed, was told all about Sasquatch and how life really works, and all was good.
And then it happened
... we were then introduced to someone we will call IwantToSleepWithYourHusband. Now this woman was putting lil Sasquatch to shame when it comes to drinking. I honestly don't know how she was still standing. So IWantToSleepWithYourHusband comes around and starts seriously flirting with Sasquatch's husband - hands were violatingly close to members of Sasquatch's husband's reproductive system. Well, naturally, Sasquatch did not like this woman treading on her territory & they got into it...have you seen Kill Bill
yet? Sasquatch became The Bride. Words I didn't know existed in the English language were flying out of Sasquatch like a 747 leaving Hartsfield. Sasquatch was moving as if there were suspension lines allowing her to move in such a way that the whole room was spinning, yet Sasquatch was in perfect focus. She was grabbing salon products and wielding them as if they were large swords...poor IWantToSleepWithYourHusband had NO CHANCE. It was over before it began...and I LAUGHED. I LAUGHED VERY HARD. In fact, I am still laughing...
What a NIGHT!